There’s a story about a devoutly religious man once caught in a severe flood. He prayed to God for rescue. Soon enough, a neighbour rowed by in a boat offering to evacuate him. The man declined, saying, “No, thanks. I have prayed to God and I know He will save me.”
The water continued to rise and the man had to climb onto his roof. A rescue team came by in another boat and tried to save him, but he refused again, stating that he had faith that God would save him.
Finally, a helicopter flew by and dropped a ladder for the man, but again, he declined the help, repeating his firm belief that God would rescue him.
In the end, the man drowned. In heaven, he stood before God and asked, “Lord, I prayed to You for help. Why didn’t You save me?” God replied, “I sent you two boats and a helicopter. What more did you want?”
When I heard the Parable of the Flood as a child, I always thought the man was just silly. I never understood how easy it is to fall into this trap of failing to recognise the opportunities that we have been offered.
Why Creating A Preconceived Future Is Problematic
Humans are weird. Cognitive psychologists Daniel Simons and Christopher Chabris did a study in 1999 that found how people are prone to “inattentional blindness”, focusing so strongly on one thing that they become blind to the unexpected even when it’s blatantly staring them right in the face.
When you look so intently for your lost sunglasses only to realise they’re on your head, this is inattentional blindness. When you’re so engrossed in a project that you don’t notice your hunger pangs, this is inattentional blindness.
How was the religious guy expecting God to come save him? By floating down from the clouds and offering a giant angelic hand like Michaelangelo’s “The Creation of Adam”? He was absorbed by his own expectations of how God would protect him, completely missing the obvious opportunities.
Sometimes we’re so focused on what we think we want to happen that we completely miss the opportunities that arise from what is actually happening.
You could be so concentrated on a specific job title or company that you overlook other positions or companies that would be a better fit for your skills and career goals.
You could be at an event intending to meet a particular person, but in your single-minded pursuit, miss out on worthwhile conversations and connections with other attendees.
Reality can be different from what you initially imagined, so try to let go of your expectations about how exactly everything will work out. Go into situations with an open mind and don’t fixate on one possibility because it can blind you from recognising other opportunities that could equally - or better - provide what you want.
Trust the Process
Do you ever get stuck in a loop thinking about the future or worrying about the unknown?
Do you ever think, “I’ve been thinking about this problem for a total of 56 hours and 33 minutes, why am I still stuck”?
Do you really believe that the more you think, the more answers you’ll get?
Some things are simply unpredictable, and no amount of thinking will change that. The unknown is the unknown. Your overthinking is a side-effect of your fear of this unknown.
Imagine you ask the universe to provide you with an opportunity to fall in love. You wouldn’t know exactly where you’re going to meet this love interest or what they would be like.
You could spend all the time you want creating a desired image of your future partner, however, no matter what, you can never know exactly how the opportunity will unfold. You would need to keep an open mind and be prepared that at any time, you might happen to meet that person. Or maybe you already have.
Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like - Lao Tzu
When you try to control the uncontrollable details of the process, you create a desperate energy, facing the universe with a feeling of lack. This energy will only breed more lack.
Instead ask, let go, and allow the opportunities to naturally unfold. Trust that the universe will provide you with everything you need and believe everything will work out - in love, career and health. When we have this bigger picture thinking, suddenly the details don’t matter so much anymore. Meditation can help a lot with entering this mindset.
It’s like decluttering your room, except it’s your mind. You free up mental space and can focus on living in the moment, making you much more likely to recognise new opportunities as they arise.
Overthinking In Social Situations
People who experience any degree of social anxiety might relate to this. Imagine you walk into a party full of people and your internal monologue starts firing off. What do people think of you? Is your outfit over or underdressed? Why is conversation so hard? You end up missing out on the entire party and having no fun because the only person you truly talked to was yourself!
Again, how can you recognise the opportunities around you if you live in your head? Opportunities manifest in the physical realm! Isn’t it kind of self-absorbed and narcissistic to be that obsessed about yourself and your worries?
When you talk to people, focus fully on the conversation - not on yourself, not on anyone else you wish you were talking to, not on whether they like you or not.
When you’re at work and someone you don’t know comes into the kitchen, instead of dabbling in the awkwardness of crossing paths as one person tries to get the soy milk out of the fridge you’re blocking, start a conversation. As you open up your eyes, you’ll see how many pockets of opportunities there are throughout your life that we usually pass up. Have a present mind and a pinch of bravery to start opening yourself up to more.
Conclusion
Having a clear and open mind will allow you to recognise more and more of the already-existing opportunities around you that you never noticed before. Being flexible in your expectations, not overly attached to a specific outcome and being present in each moment will allow you to spot and take advantage of opportunities that might not have originally fit into your existing plans or preconceived notions. Let go of biases. Become open to new experiences, ideas, and possibilities. You will start attracting more opportunities to build your dream life.
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