I used to compare my singing voice to others in my music class. I’d think, ‘I wish I could belt notes as high as she can!’ or ‘I wish my voice was as delicate as hers’. I would sometimes try to sing songs that didn't suit my voice, straining myself and wondering why it didn't sound like I wanted. Why wasn’t my voice as powerful as Demi Lovato’s, my childhood idol? Over time, I understood that singing is just a hobby for me and I don't intend to be a professional; accepting this allowed me to be realistic about my singing ability and love it while still being passionate about music.
As I later started songwriting, creating songs that felt natural to sing, people complimented me on specific parts of my voice. I realised I'd needed to lean into my natural strengths and work with my voice, rather than against it. It was then that I began to find my authentic style and enjoy music more.
This applies to many areas of our lives.
Sometimes, we envy others and undervalue our own strengths. Our warped egos and perception lead us to crave what we don’t have. Introverts may envy extroverts for their social ease, while extroverts envy introverts being energised by alone time. Curvy girls want to be slim and slim girls want to be curvy. Children wish they could be adults to break the rules, while adults would love to be kids again to have no responsibilities.
It’s helpful to shift our mindset towards maximising the potential of our current strengths and circumstances, rather than fixating on aspects beyond our control. This shift takes us from a mindset of scarcity to one of abundance. An introvert may not become the life of the party, but can practise and improve their social skills. We can’t change our body structure, but we can improve its composition through a disciplined diet and exercise. While we can’t change our age, we can carry a lighter, childlike spirit. Embracing what we have creates a positive environment that attracts more positivity and prosperity into our lives.
I challenge you to reflect on the expectations you’ve set for yourself. Are these expectations truly realistic, or are you chasing an idealised version of yourself that might not even exist? Do you hold envy towards others’ circumstances that doesn’t serve you well? Do you find yourself dwelling on what you lack instead of what you have?
Let it go and shift your focus towards gratitude for who you are at this very moment. Throw away expectations about how you should be based on what you perceive in others, and instead appreciate yourself for who you are now.
If there are aspects you wish to improve, ensure your goals are grounded, and work diligently toward them. Take time to reflect on your achievements and successes, allowing them to motivate you on your journey.
Focus on your own progress and unique journey. You got this!
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