Introduction
Chinese people are incredibly warming and caring to family and friends. Gift giving and acts of service skyrocket for guests. They will drive them around, fight to pay, and force feed eighty-eight varieties of fruit. Chinese people are incredibly warm and generous with family, but this warmth contrasts sharply with their behaviour in public spaces.
I told my dad I might write an article on the shocking etiquette habits in China, and he said, “Stella, I don’t think there’s enough paper in China to write it”. Some of the behaviours we’ve encountered are ridiculous and would be condemned in the West. This article will explore the different etiquette standards in China, so you can be mentally prepared for your visit.
Chinese Road Etiquette
I now understand why Chinese drivers in the West are stereotypically labelled bad drivers. It’s fair enough if you learn to drive in an environment with the following road etiquette examples:
Drivers can turn right when the light’s red.
Sometimes the pedestrian AND vehicle green light overlap for the same crossing.
Even if the traffic light’s red, cars might be chilling on the pedestrian crossing.
Even if there are no cars, the little mopeds are driving wild in herds doing whatever they want, threatening to crash into you.
Drivers use their phones freely while driving.
Not wearing a seatbelt if you’re in the backseat is normal.
It’s normal to drive in the middle of two lanes for extended periods.
Some intersections have workers in fluorescent with flags managing the traffic on an average day; what are traffic light for again?
I think indicators are just for decoration at this point.
Beeping is a form of communication in driving. My understanding is that in the West, that communication often means “f*** you”, but after riding a moped around China, I realised the shrill sound is used politely. It means, “Just letting you know I’m passing you now, I am here”. As much as the beeping creates noise and chaos, it helps prevent crashes on Chinese roads.
You can probably see various accidents happen first-hand depending on how long you're here. A couple of weeks ago, a family getting out of our ordered Didi opened the car door only for it to hit a moped whizzing past. It broke the driver’s hand. We had to order a new car.
On one occasion, I turned around to see a motorbike and its driver skidding across the concrete. Who needs a helmet, anyway?
There are similar patterns in biking - everyone bikes around Tsinghua University, where I did a Spring semester exchange. In one semester, two of my friends ended up in hospital for bike crashes, and most of my friends and acquaintances have experienced fender benders. My favourite pants were sliced open by a bike swerving into me. Again, no need for helmets, right?
Chinese Public Etiquette
Asian Aunties
If you’ve lived in China, you know what I’m talking about when I mention a certain type of Asian aunty. They may look small and unthreatening but make no mistake, they can be fierce. Often found in crowded, tourist environments on sunny days, common behaviours include scowling, yelling, gesturing aggressively, elbowing through queues, and carrying babies as defence.
Most recently, some were spotted at a famous night performance in Yangshuo called Impression Sanjie Liu. The stage was set on a tranquil lake, surrounded by stunning mountains that lit up to create a magical and ethereal backdrop. The show’s visual aesthetics were incredible, using the water and lights to create illusions.
However, one Asian aunty in the row in front was constantly using her phone at max brightness. She would stand up occasionally, blocking the view. Another aunty-lady behind us with a distinctly raspy voice was constantly yelling across to her family. They were literally sitting next to her. She started rustling through her plastic bags to hand out snacks to her family, shouted at them again, then munched and crunched for fifteen minutes.
In fact, it was not just the aunties that gave a performance in this instance, but the entire audience; there was a rumble of voices the entire hour-long show as every third person was talking, like we were in a busy canteen.
Furthermore, with each new segment of the show, a wave of phones whipped out to film. Photographing this night-light show was identical to trying to photograph stars.
I can't decide if the real performance was the show or this night-long array of disturbing behaviours.
Chinese citizens are the most photo-obsessed people I’ve ever seen. No shade—I love photos too. But surely enjoy a bloody light show through your own eyes.
Defecation
I've seen some surprising sights, like babies pooping and peeing in public.
One time at Tsinghua University's Zijing field — where students usually track-run and friends gather for night chats — a baby was pooping. The two-year old was squatting on the track. The dad slid cardboard under him and said, “拉吧”, meaning to go ahead to poop.
At the panda zoo in Chengdu, a little girl also peed on a slightly inclined path out in the open, and it rolled down the entire walkway.
These moments just occur.
However, do note the negativity bias – there are not endless crashes happening and children peeing on every street, but a few times in a few months is a few too many and enough to bring up.
Littering is normal in China. There is a tasty example of this in my article, Foreigner's Review of Jiuzhaigou: China’s “Fairyland on Earth”.
Bureaucracy
Even formal places require pushiness and obnoxiousness. For example, I went to the bank to pick up my visa passport. There was a front desk assistant giving tickets with queue numbers and a display screen in the waiting area. I thought, “Nice, there’s structure here.”
Fifteen minutes later, the numbers hadn’t changed.
The assistant told me to just keep waiting for the number to show up (in good English).
A few minutes later, some ladies arrived at the bank and walked straight over to a teller to ask for their passports. They got them. More people swarmed over.
A little confused and hesitant, I slid in after the crowd dissipated and asked for my passport. They asked my details and gave it to me. What was the queue ticket for?!?
Sensory Experience
Chinese Men
If you go to China, you will have to get used to the playlist of Chinese man sounds, including burping, sneezing, throat spitting, snoring, and coughing.
Most Chinese men smoke and drink exorbitant amounts of alcohol like Baijiu (Chinese spirits). A 20-pack of regular cigarettes is about 10-20 yuan ($2-4NZD). NZ’s 20-packs are about $40NZD, as comparison. Smoking in Australia and New Zealand these days carries connotations of lower socioeconomic status, but in China, that notion is puffed away. Even after 6 months, I never got used to the smoke outside airports and train stations, or the smell in Ubers.
Trains
It can get atrociously loud on the high-speed trains. There may be a handful of kids climbing the chairs and yelling while middle to old-aged individuals snore or cough intermittently for five hours. Most of the time the high-speed trains are great though.
Conclusion
These behaviours, while unusual and shocking from a Western perspective, are deeply ingrained in Chinese society. I don’t think there is anything wrong with the individuals themselves despite them exhibiting the behaviours. I think it is a result of having 1.4 billion people in a country; overcrowding leads to rude manners.
I also found myself cutting to the front of queues and caring less about causing social disorder, because if everyone’s doing it, I might as well too. Problematic? When in Rome, do as the Romans do.
I asked a few Tsinghua local friends if they ever felt Chinese people behave oddly in public. They all said no. Conversely, my Western friends understood instantly.
Chinese people have grown up in it so it isn't abnormal for them and honestly, I don’t see too much problem with it where it doesn't harm other people or the environment.
Who’s to say aggressive driving, yelling on trains, and spitting on streets is wrong if it works for them? It’s us soft Westerners who enter the scene and become collateral damage.
However, I do think it is important for Chinese people who go abroad to recognise that these etiquette behaviours are not world-wide. They must adapt as well when travelling.
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